Diskusi ‘Ga Nggenah

December 6, 2008 at 22:22 (Survival) ()

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x: fuck ‘em all..fuck it..the world is not fair..

o: kata sapa dunia pernah adil? mau keadilan? pergi aja ke pengadilan sana..cari adnan buyung nasution

x: its juz not fair..

o: as the saying goes…never expect the world will treat you well and fairly just because you’ve done good to them

x: so its better to be bad guys?

o: no, do a right thing just because it’s a right thing to do..never
expect anything..stupid and ridiculous, but that’s the reality..

x: i’ve lived those way…never expect anything…accept
evrything…but for once, and once only…i juz want one…n i will let
go everything…stupid and ridiculous too,huh? n nice guys always
finish last…so whats the catch…

o: aku juga banyak denger kayak gini dari org2 atheis yang ga peduli
sorga n neraka, pahala atau dosa..mereka nglakuin kebaikan ya karena
emang itu baek buat dilakuin..

x: ok, so now i have to become an atheis?

o: r u not lately?

x: u know my description of god…i believe in christ, christianity as
well…but christian people? not all of them worth their
christianity…i use to be a believer, but never a christian..

o: n now? what r u?

x: i dont know..starting to lose my faith in anything..

o: who r u bro? this is not you whom i know.. who r u?

x: i.. do not know..

o: who r u? cant u even answer that?

x: i do not know..

o: who the fuck r u?

x: i dont fucking know who i am..ok? satisfied? call me nobody.. its up to you.. what do u got to care?

o: for cryin out loud..who r u?

x: i used to be somebody..i used to feel fulfill..i used to be me..but
now..i dont know..my mind, my soul, my life… i do not know any of
them..

o: get some rest.. u need it..

x: why? where? is it make any different? kamar kos gw yang dulu nyaman
pun serasa jadi sel penjara yang ngerangkeng gw dengan jeruji2nya,
bahkan buat teriak aja gw ga bisa

o: so..teriak sana..

x: i’ve tried

o: mana?

x: i’ve scream, ok?

o: mana?

x: i’ve scream..i’ve scream loudly..but nobody hear me..but nobody listen..

o: wake up dude..ur fren is listening..they know ur sorrow..they’ve helped,right?

x: no use..ga ngefek buat gw..semua nasehat itu..mental dari otak gw..

o: maksud loe?

x: things like: move on, carry on, its in gods hand, maybe its not the
best, it will be one that is better…otak gw nolak itu semua..

o: u wrecked dude..get some sleep..

x: sleep is a luxury i could not have..dulu aja gw takut tiap kali
pergi tidur..takut semua cuma mimpi..n now, i’m awake..with this
nightmare..

o: get some sleep..tomorrow is a better day..

x: yup..tomorrow is a better day..a day i never have..

o: so now u’r thinking to ends up ur life, like that?

x: haha, sayangnya ngga..pasti banyak yang ngemarahi gw kalo gw iya gitu..

o: knp?

x: dulu dicritai..hebat orang yang berani mati, tapi lebih hebat orang yang berani hidup..

o: haha, yup2.. memang hidup lebih berat..lagian bunuh diri sakit atuh..

x: sayangnya otak gw yang error masi rada kreatip..

o: ??

x: death is not an option, but i wouldnt mind..

o: oo jadi maksudnya kalo dibunuh org ya udah ok2 aja?

x: haha.. dont know.. u figure it out..

o: get a grip man..

x: ur previous question..am i an atheis now?

o: yes..ready to answer that?

x: i’m not.. i’m not an atheis..i still believe in christ..

o: why?

x: coz i do not believe there’s anything beyond god who could once gave
me her and each and evry single precious moment that i have ever had
with her..but why he take it back again from me..i do not know..

o: maybe bcoz it is not the best for u?

x: i dont need the best..i juz need her..

o: maybe u’r not the best for her?

x: i’ll die trying..i know i will..

o: maybe u both r not meant to be..

x: then meant to be we will..

o: it will kill u..

x: it already did killing my soul.. i once make a promise.. n maybe
those promise cannot be fulfill forever, but i intend to keep it..as
strong as i can..

o: i know u r a man of ur word..but its useless..u say it urself..it cannot be done..its worthless..

x: its worth for me..

o: worth ur joy? ur days? ur health? ur tears? ur insanity? ur life?
how long do u think u can attend n try to keep those promise, huh? for
eternal? bull fucking shit..

x: i dont know.. we’ll juz see.. maybe soon.. maybe later.. what do u gotta lose?

o: i’m losing a fren now.. u r not the fren i’ve known..

x: a world will be a better place without a bugger like me..u might even enjoying it..live freely without my distraction..haha..

o: maybe..maybe not..

x: now u’re the one who starting to become a mellow..

o: haha..the melancholic me..such a bullshit..u juz looking for an attention,rite?

x: haha..maybe..maybe not..maybe its the real me..maybe its a new me…

o: kiamat dateng duluan, sebelum loe brubah jadi mellow bung..

x: y mungkin kelamaan datangnya..si mellow ga tahan keluar duluan..

o: hehe, udah oey… jangan sampe sebegitunya..harus dipaksa,
pelan2..iya aku tau semua jg pasti bilang yg sama n mungkin kamu dah
bosen jg dengernya, hehe..tapi, for your own good man…you better
force your self.. it’s only you yourself who can do it

x: berarti gw cari orang namanya “you” buat nolong gw? itu “you” marga ato namanya?

o: itu marganya seh

x: lha terus namanya sapa

o: namanya A.. jadi nama lengkapnya Ayou..halah ngomong opo to ya

x: tapi dia masih punya nama belakang… kartika..jadi disingkat ayouk…tapi a-nya bukan ahmad tho?

o: wah udah bener2 konslet neh anak..butuh strum ga, biar bisa jalan lagi

x: as long as it 20kv or more, being distributed in radial connected
system, dan bisa dianalisa pake aliran daya newton raphson pake program
etap power station 4.0.0, why not… wakaka mirip judul ta-ku :p

o: let it go,bro..here’s a good one…if you want to know if something
is meant to you, let it go, and it will be back to you if it’s meant to
be yours..ga tau seberapa akurat itu, haha, it’s jus a belief..tapi
kalo liat posisimu skrg emang menurutku jg let her go and she will be
back to you if she is really meant to be yours

x: juz like that? no thx…then who will i’m gonna be?? coz i dont know who i am rite now..

o: just be ur self lah..jgn tlalu melow kayak aku, haha.. aku kadang
juga suka gitu.. semuanya dipikir. dikit2 mikirnya udah kemana2. sampe
akhirnya capek sendiri aku.. udah take it easy.. life is there to enjoy
, tul ga?

x: wish i can say the same…

o: ne ada ayat bagus..lumayan buat loe.. semoga aja loe ga kebakar wakaka..

x: haha..very funny..

o: janganlah hendaknya kamu kuatir tentang apapun juga, tetapi
nyatakanlah dalam segala hal keinginanmu kepada Allah dalam doa dan
permohonan dengan ucapan syukur…damai sejahtera allah yang melampaui
segala akal, akan memelihara hati dan pikiranmu dalam kristus yesus..

x: thats cool..comforting..

o: here’s another one..a short one.. bersukacitalah senantiasa…tetaplah berdoa..

x: thank god its a short one…its getting hot already wkwkwk..

o: haha..be blessed bro..

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